I’m Going On c 2026 Doug Nelson
Monday night they’re here to BOO
the Giants or the Jets
Tuesday’s “two-fer” night
and they just get lit
Wednesday it’s the bowling crowd
but they roll in
set ‘em right up
knock ‘em right down
and split
Chorus:
Don’t know how I’ll ever
keep my head together
if I try to take this job seriously
‘cause the drinkin’ crowd don’t listen
‘less they’re in the backroom pissin’
but someone turn the jukebox off
I’m Goin’ on
Thursday,
There’s an open mic
Not my choice
Not on your life.
Drunks
come up and cough and snort and sneeze.
The other night
some MAGA hat
came up and started FOXin’ that…
“Trump (ugh!)
was the bee’s knees!…”
…🤪OH, PLEASE! GEEZE!
(Chorus)
Friday night it’s wall to wall
smoke and beer and noise and all
Sometimes I wonder if I can be heard
I strum so hard I break the strings
or drop my pick
It’s hard to sing
and not let on
you feel absurd
(Chorus)
Saturday crowd tops ‘em all
Though it’s not quite wall to wall
air’s as thick as any night so far
They come in one by one
and they go out two by two
and once again
i’m all alone with my guitar…
(CHORUS)
…coming soon…
…for Mom….a life-long Republican, she had us fill out her ballot, “..all Republican..except Donald Trump”
This Band… c 2026 D Nelson
(…to the tune of that one song…)
Chorus:
This band was your band.
This band was my band.
but no one warns ya’
of New York’s finest.
We’re a red state’s poorest
in a gulf stream, homeless
…this band was banned (“raped”…live version) by Trump the king.
We went a looking
for that endless skyway
to Frank Sinatra’s
“I Did It My Way”
But we helped some refugees
with a couple dollars.
this band was banned (raped) by Trump the king
(Chorus)
He said call them “wetbacks”
and it’ll flow better…
and in the diamond desert
you’ll find yourselves a letter
with a million dollars
to tour this country…
this band was banned (raped) by Trump the king
(Chorus)
I wish I’d wrote in
‘stead of ballot punchin’
when I went to votin’
in the last election.
I can’t help sounding
and retracing my footsteps
…we’d be better off with Mr. Bean
Take me home, boys!
(Chorus)
Last chorus:
This band is your band
This band is my band
While no one warns ya’
of New York’s finest…
We’re a red state’s poorest
in a Gulf Stream, homeless…
This band was banned by Trump the king
This band was panned by Trump the king.
This buzz kill
was still
made for you and me.
Iran Song (Vietnam Song remake) by Doug Nelson
Verse 1:
C’mon America
get loud!
Make old Country Joe proud!
He had one small wish
…we’d all turn out to be fish!
…so flap your flippers
& flip your fins
and get ready to swim!
Chorus 1:
Well it’s one two three
what are we waiting for?
Fill my boots with sand
Next stop: Tehran, Iran
Well, it’s five, six, seven
Open up the Hormuz Strait.
Ain’t no time to wonder why
Whoopie!
We’re all gonna die!
Verse 2:
Come on Swordfish…don’t be slow
…that regime has got to go!
.One God-man callin’ all the shots?
…that’s nuts!
…just climb aboard the ship of fools
…with her
Titanic
whirlpools!
Chorus 2:
Well it’s one two three
what are we waiting for?
Forever war’s our jam!
Vietnam…Afghanistan…
Well, it’s five six seven
Open up the Hormuz Strait
Ain’t no time
to wonder why
Whoopie! We’re all gonna die!
Instrumental
Chorus 3:
Well it’s one two three
What are we waiting for?
If we say we’re there to dethrone
they’ll slay their own!
Well, it’s five six seven
Open up the Hormuz Strait
Ain’t no time
to wonder why
Whoopie! We’re all gonna die!
Verse 3:
You use Jack Black bait
you get a great big snake!
…boots on the ground?
…I can’t hardly wait!
…we’ll all be chums in the promised land
…in Joe’s backup band.
Chorus 4:
Well its one two three
What are we waiting for?
Fill my boots with sand
Put a stiff drink in my hand
Well, it’s five six seven
….open up the Pearly Gates!
Ain’t no time
to wonder why
Whoopie!
We’re all gonna die!
Chorus 5
Well it’s one two three
What are we waiting for?
The heck with pipelines and planes
and trucks and trains.
Well, It’s five six seven
Open up the Hormuz Strait!
Ain’t no time to wonder why…
Whoopie!
…we’re all gonna die
◦
Coming soon…tempo and feel of “On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone”
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up c March 24, 2026 Doug and the Pick and Grinners
Verse and Chorus 1:
Where has all the money gone?
Long time passing
Where has all the money gone
long time ago?
Some things are just too painful
You can’t make this stuff up
My newly wealthy
ex just earmarked her estate
for the campaign for Donald Trump
Pick one, fellas!
Verse and Chorus 2:
My dog died in the neighbor’s yard
…guess that’s where he felt at home
…they asked me do a post mortem clean up
and handed me a baggie and a pair of tongs
Some things are just too painful
You can’t make this stuff up
My ex just hauled my ‘58 Tele
off to the garbage dump
Jam it, boys!
Verse and Chorus 3:
You can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd
You can’t tell a thing to a dead dog’s turd
My MAGA hat ex never heard Freebird
and spent her life telling me when to jump
Some things are just too painful
You can’t make this stuff up
With my boots on the ground towards the battle Iran
now I’m walking…on a stump
Take me home, boys!
…coming soon…
Thinking big…and uniting, like…
Nashville Hot Chicken c2026 Doug Nelson
Verse 1:
Country road to interstate
…felt like I was drawn by fate
…drove all night
‘til the mornin’ light
found me here
…but not quite right…(pause)
…but I just had…(up to tempo)
Chorus 1:
…Nashville Hot Chicken
1: it was everything I’d been told. (I just had)
2.Finger lickin’ chickin’ with some heat ( I just had)
3.KC bbq was callin’ me (but here they’ve got)
4.everything that I’ve been told
Nashville Hot Chicken
1:and I’m sold!
2….’least I found me something I can eat!
3.I play a tune and eat free!
4.and I’m sold (I just had)
Verse 2:
Gonna camp on doorsteps
with my guitar
‘til I’ve shown ‘em all
why I’ve come so far.
But even sure of who you are,
you might not become a star (pause)
…just gimme some…(up to tempo)
(Chorus 2)
Verse 3:
Traffic’s bad the lines are long
…it ain’t heaven…don’t get me wrong
but overnight
if the formula’s right
you can own the white, hot
Spot light
(Chorus 3)
Verse 4:
This is where I’ve got to be
Music City got to me
…with the great weight of destiny
on a paper plate in Tennessee
(Chorus 4)
(Repeat Chorus 4)
Verse 5:
When errant votes kings anoint
point a finger…roll a joint
But set your feet
…time your jump
then go sic the dogs (Megan Moroney cameo: “dogs?”) on Donald Trump…
(switch from acoustic lead to heavy distortion guitar)
…with some…
Chorus 5:
Nashville Hot Chicken
I miss Jazz Kitchen red beans and rice (but)
Nashville Hot Chicken
is well worth the going price
Chorus 6:
I’ve got Nashville Hot Chicken…
Like Dylan said, “…but don’t think twice”
(You just did…)
I’ve got Nashville Hot Chicken
(Bad Bunny…cameo):
“…and we’re gonna melt some ICE”
One more chorus…this time in unison with Megan and Bad
then as the music is fading Mr. Bunny corrects me on the misconception of his firs
name being “Bad” and his las name being “ Bunny”…
“Eece not juust “Bad”…” etc…
…and Megan explains, “Yes, the dogs are red like Nashville Hot Chicken but they’re in Georgia…”
…coming soon…
That’s What Fools Are For
c 2026 Doug Nelson and Addy Nelson
…tempo and feel of, “On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone”
…read in the order of the #’s
4:
When the clock strikes twelve
and the midnight hour
brings the zombies out into the street
are
you gonna
grab a baseball
bat
and
pound them into ground
meat?
2:
When the word “tor-
nado” can’t be
said cause the
Bureau’s afraid a
panic
is
gonna kill
more
will the
press call ‘em
out?
Uh…uh…not them…
that’s what fools are for…
3:
When the country needs a hero (1,2,3,4)
who’s gonna
cut their hair with a sword?
When the stock markets crash
and pensions disappear
Who will spark the uproar?
With ICE in the hood
up to no good
who’s gonna make an
immigrant
a pallet on their floor…
Not me…not you…
…skip to ma loo
that’s what fools are for
Instrumental
6:
When they pre-
sent a bill in congress
to reduce the tax on income
but it’s worded
in such a way
that they can
raise the sales tax
to get money for the budget
so that
now it’s not the rich who have to pay
and there’s a town hall meeting
next Thursday to discuss it
where a guy could go and peel it to the core…
Not you…not me…
Uh uh…no siree
that’s what fools are for
1:
Who’s gonna take on the
role of Nostradamus
in the wake of bad loser, Al Gore?
Who”s gonna
up and fry eggs
on the hot pavement
when the
ocean breaks a new
shore?
5:
Can you imagine Donald Trump
in George Washington’s boots
leading the
Zombie Squad into war?
Uh uh…not him…not Putin…not Kim
that’s what fools are for…